The emPOWERed Half Hour

Finding Hope and Support Through Infertility Journey with Dr. Brenna Squires

• Becca Powers / Dr. Brenna Squires • Season 1 • Episode 64

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To every couple facing infertility, remember that you have the power to advocate and find strength together.

In this episode of The EmPOWERed Half Hour, Becca talks with Dr. Brenna Squires, a clinical psychologist and life coach, about her personal and professional journey through infertility. 

Dr. Squires and her husband have endured seven years of unexplained infertility, leading them to embrace self-advocacy and hope. She opens up about the emotional and mental toll of their struggle and their decision to take control of their fertility journey. 

This conversation highlights the importance of becoming your own health advocate and the crucial role of partnership in this process. If you or someone you know is navigating similar challenges, this episode is a must-listen.


Key Moments You Won't Want to Miss:

  • Taking Control Through Self-Advocacy: Dr. Squires and her husband took charge of their fertility journey, teaching you how to become proactive advocates by questioning and researching medical advice.
  • Emotional Toll of Infertility: Gain an understanding of the deep emotional and mental impacts of infertility, and discover coping strategies for finding hope.
  • Challenges with Conventional Medicine: Explore how Dr. Squires navigated the limitations of traditional treatments and sought alternative solutions.


About Dr. Squires

Dr. Brenna Squires helps couples, struggling with infertility, restore hope and strengthen their relationship. She is a formally trained clinical psychologist and professional life coach who has helped thousands of individuals improve their mental health and their relationships so they could move from stuck to unstoppable. 

In 2020, her world was shaken as doctors could not classify many of her health symptoms and diagnosed her with unexplained infertility and Hashimoto's thyroiditis.  Given Dr. Squires' background in assessment and analysis, she embarked on a journey to heal her body and maintain hope as she prayed to have a child naturally. 

Today, Dr. Brenna Squires and her husband are dedicated to helping couples who are going through infertility find hope and feel supported along the way.


Connect with Dr. Brenna Squires: 


Mentioned on the Show:

Dr. Brenna Squires launched a monthly subscription-based group for support, coaching, and community on infertility. Sign up month-to-month to accommodate your journey, with a free webinar introducing the initiative. For details and to sign up, visit the Finding Hope with Infertility page.

Follow Becca Powers:

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Becca Powers: Welcome to another episode of The Empowered Half Hour. And I am so excited for today's conversation because it's one I have not had the opportunity to bring you, the listeners, to yet. And today I bring you Dr. Brenna Squires. Hello, Brenna. Welcome to the show. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Becca Powers: Yeah, I'm excited too. So I want to give you guys a little bit of background about Brenna and how we came in contact because I do this on every show. she reached out to me on Instagram. She has a really powerful message. And the more I started, reviewing her profile and some of the notes she sent over, I was like, yes, I'd love to have you on the show. And the reason I think this topic is really important is because It's not one that's often talked about. Brenna, I'm going to let her share her background, but today's topic is going to be around infertility around for women and bringing that. back around to hope. And I just think that through her own experience, I'm going to let again, let her share more, but she has had an experience that makes her really passionate about this topic.

So Brenna, let me turn it over to you. Let's share with the audience a little bit about, about, about your background and why this topic. became so passionate for you to share and speak about. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yes. So it all started, a couple of years ago, but my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about seven years now, and this really began about four years ago when my husband and I were sitting in the doctor's office.

I can see the books and paperwork on his desk and my chart was open and I was excited because I was going to finally get some answers. We were there. for a plan. We were there for answers, but I honestly wasn't expecting what he said next. He said, Rena, I don't know why you can't get pregnant. and then he had a few options about what to do next.

And honestly, I was just so overwhelmed with emotions. because we had been trying to get pregnant for three years at that point. And he just told me, I don't know why you can't get pregnant and then proceeds to give me options. And the options he gives me were expensive, invasive, had a small percentage of working and still didn't really answer most of my https: otter.

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and then he asked us, so what do you want to do? 

Becca Powers: Gonna need to think about it for a minute. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. And all of these thoughts and emotions started, going through my mind and my body and I'm feeling sad and angry and confused. And all I could think is you don't know what's wrong. You've done all of these tests and yet you're still giving me some solutions that are all terrible, in my opinion, none of which are helping.

And. We went home. I mean feeling discouraged. We went home feeling so discouraged so defeated and we just started to discuss What can we do? And we just kept coming back to the idea of really is this it like is this all you have as a professional? You all you have is after all of these tests and years of looking at stuff You don't really know what's going on and you don't have any options for us.

So we started to research, found more options, but then now we got to the next hurdle and said, now there's no one to talk to, right? There's no one to talk to about if these are good ideas or effective strategies. And then I started looking into groups and realized. There's nothing that seems to match what I'm going through that some of the groups are actually making me feel worse.

and then when I would talk to family or friends, they would be, as empathetic as they could, but a lot of times I would get, that's never happened to me. So you're like, now what? So that's not happened to you. So you don't know what I'm going through. I'm, I just started feeling more and more alone.

And like many couples, Struggling with infertility. We felt overwhelmed with all of this information. We felt overwhelmed with emotion. we sat in the doctor's office and didn't get any answers. And there were times where our situation just hopeless. So without a clear path, without clear answers, limited support, we decided, I guess it's me and you, my husband and I just came together.

And we prayed and we decided we're going to figure this out because what else are we going to do? as a psychologist, I'm a psychologist. My husband is a cybersecurity analyst. We problem solve for a living. So we're like, let's just use us as case study. Number one, right? We're going to just look at our problem and try to figure out what we can do about it.

So we went to doc, we went to different doctors and healthcare providers. We started reading books and articles, educational programs. I signed up for so many different educational programs to try to figure out what's going on in my body. What's going on in his body. Try to find the answers that doctors.

couldn't figure out. And with all of this knowledge, we became our best advocate. And now instead of navigating this journey, feeling overwhelmed, we feel equipped because we have this roadmap and we have this specific strategy and plan that we've put in place that if something goes wrong, we can easily pivot.

And we want to do the same thing for other couples in this situation. We want to help them. move from depressed and discouraged to having hope and joy again. We want to help them have a plan. We want to help the, struggling, the couple struggling with infertility who have tried everything and feel like nothing works.

We want them to feel like they have a plan. When doctors aren't listening to them, we want to help them. Learn to advocate for themselves and have the support system that you feel like 

Becca Powers: Becoming your own advocate and for the listeners out there It's so important when it comes to any aspect of your health to take the approach that Brenna's talking about So even though I haven't experienced any infertility issues.

I had autoimmune disease. Right now it's in remission, but I was very sick for quite a few years, about three years. And I had gone to doctor after doctor, everybody saying that I'm fine. No one could tell me why my bones hurt, why I had fatigue that I couldn't get out of bed. My hair was falling out in clumps.

Like it took me going to finally getting fed up like you and extremely discouraged to put the power back into my own hands and say, I'm going to start reading about this. And then I, felt like it might be autoimmune related, went to a functional medicine doctor and started looking at what was going on from a completely different lens.

And through that, I found out another issue that's not often talked about that should be talked about is that in addition to having active autoimmune disease, which he finally tested me for, and confirm that I had something going on. I also had breast implant illness and none of my doctors asked if I had breast implants.

None of them really compared the symptoms and, it was my own advocacy and then finding someone that would really listen that got me on my healing journey. And most of my own healing came from supplements. the way I worked out like slower, less hit stuff. I had to do a lot. I love yoga anyways, but I did a lot of yoga and then obviously my diet and, After about two years of really working on that, I got into remission, almost all my symptoms are gone.

So I just wanted to share, I was really resonating with what you were sharing and I'm hoping that the listeners can too, that you really can put your health and, the outcomes into your own hands. Like you might not be able to control everything, but I really appreciate what you said, Brenna, because, I don't think people realize that they have as much, power and in their own advocacy for health.

So 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: anyway, my two cents. Yeah, no, that's wonderful. And that is so important. And very accurate that not many people realize how much power that they have in their own hands. And like you said, you had to do the research and the best way you became an advocate was knowledge. Like you had to know what you were looking for.

You had to know what to ask. And then you had to find, the right support system, the right person to listen. So not only did you have to learn how to be an advocate, but you had to find somebody who was willing. To be a good support system. I 

Becca Powers: just got the goosebumps. Yes. All of that. So bringing it back to your journey.

so where are you guys now? So that's what you went through now. Fast forward four years, you're in an active advocacy role, right? You're here on this podcast. what are, where are you guys at now? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: With regards to, just 

Becca Powers: to recap, the audience probably is like, where is she now with her situation?

But also like, where are you with. helping people. And where are you, guys taking things? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. So right now where we are in our specific fertility journey is we've gone through meeting with traditional doctors. we've met with integrative health, homeopathic health, and we are in that homeopathic realm right now where we're still having faith and believing in hope that we will still have children.

And we're as excited today as we were when we first started, because we have a strategic plan that we're following that we're able to easily pivot. When someone says, okay, this doesn't work. Okay, now let's go somewhere else. So we're still on that path and we're still having hope. And we're, excited because like I said, we know sometimes soon things are going to work out and all of it's going to fall into place.

And with regards to the helping clients with advocacy, we're actually launching a brand new program specifically for couples in September, because we want to get couples On the same page because fertility is about the couple as a collective. And from our experience and from the experience I hear from a lot of couples is.

That's not what's happening where a lot of it is heavy on the woman and specific things, but there's a whole bunch missing that they're not testing for, that they're not looking for, that they're not treating for the woman. And there's definitely a whole bunch missing when it comes to. The man, that's 50 percent that we're just not even looking at.

So we want to help couples in that arena with what can you do to advocate for yourself? How do we get that support? And how can we create that roadmap for you so that you're not stressed? 

Becca Powers: Your husband a lot too, because with the traditional model, it is very heavy on women, on the woman. To take care of it or to figure it out.

And meanwhile, the husband's left on the side just for updates. And he's like my, maybe, I would assume I never really thought about it until you started talking about it, but you might even feel a little disconnected from his wife, because I know like in my girlfriends, I was telling you, on our pre on the pre prep for this, that I've had a lot of family and, girlfriends who have.

Had infertility issues and I see them rightfully so get very obsessive about it, but their husbands are more just like in a side support role rather than part of the process. So how has that impacted your relationship? I'm just curious. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah, so from the beginning, we have always been a really good team.

That's one thing that I love about my husband. We have really been a really good team and we've tried to look at it through the lens of a team. So even when doctors would heavily focus on me, I would say, what about him? what does he get to do? And when they didn't give him things, as funny as it sounds, I had him involved in what I was doing.

I said, okay, we're, taking, I'm taking my temperature. Remind me to take my temperature. I have to track X, Y, and Z. And I want you to know what X, Y, and Z means because we're on this journey together, because like you said, they put such a strong emphasis on the woman that the woman almost feels overwhelmed because it's like her own problem, so to speak.

And so I thought, This is 50 50. We're supposed to be doing this together. So you're going to know what's going on and you're going to do all the same treatment I'm doing to the extent that you can. So he has been my number one support throughout the whole process. Yeah. 

Becca Powers: And instead of potentially dividing, cause I've seen it cause fights in the relationships too.

You guys are on the same team. And I think that's really important. And for you listeners out there, whether your experience in fertility or some type of other health issue, maybe. including your partner as part of the process might have a little bit more positive outcome for you. So that's really a good way to look at it.

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah, absolutely. When I've, when I work closely with couples, that's one of the things that I emphasize every single time is you are a team. When one goes down, you both go down. When one is struggling, you're both struggling. So you should both know, and that's one of the shoulds, I don't really like talking about shoulds, but one of the shoulds is it's helpful.

For you to both know what's going on. If your temperatures are erratic, you both need to know and figure out what's going on. If you're feeling emotional. It's not helpful for the, husband to just guess, but then that's what, one of the things that causes friction and causes strife in relationship is when you make the other person guess what's going on because they don't know unless you tell them.

Becca Powers: It's so true. I love that you're saying that because the guessing, we create stories, right? When we don't have information. So ladies out there, if you're not communicating with your partner. there might be, some stories and some gaps happening in their head. yeah, that's funny.

let's go into a different part. I'm curious to see what is a major, now that you have been in this journey for seven years, what's a major lesson that you've learned? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: The major lesson that I've learned is that there are so many more options out there than we are being told. That there are thousands of doctors across the world, helping millions of couples get pregnant with treatments that most of us have never heard of because our doctors have never shared with us.

And so that's the biggest thing that I've learned is that each doctor is trained on something different. And if we don't know that, we're just going to say, okay, whatever options they give me, that's it. When that's not exactly true. It's that's it for that doctor. If you go to a different doctor, they're going to give you completely different options that may be better.

But you don't know, because we don't know to go to there. 

Becca Powers: What's an example of something of. what's an example of a solution that you were like, wow, I didn't know that was a possibility.

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Chiropractic care. So recently I started getting adjusted and I, I've been getting adjusted for a couple of years, but this is the first time I actually met with a chiropractor who was able to connect the dots for me by explaining how all of our organs in our body are connected to nerves, our nerves are connected to our spine.

If our spine is not straight. Or is not aligned correctly. Then if you think about it, if it's straight or proper, then everything is flowing correctly. When it starts to bend, then it puts pressure on the nerves. And if it's putting pressure on the nerves, it's like kinking the nerves, kinking a hose, 

Becca Powers: putting pressure 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: on them, and they're not able to send the signals properly.

to those organs. And if the signals are not getting properly sent, they're not working at their optimal level. And so you can imagine if you have a slight adjustment, like one of the adjustments that I have is in my, my hips. So my hips were misaligned. So one was a little higher and that contributed to a slight curve in my back and a slight curve in my neck.

And the curves that were not supposed to be there. And when he, she showed me on the chart, specifically what nerves were connected to that. It's again, your gut, it's my ovaries, it's my uterus. It's all of those things that are supposed to be functioning optimally or fertility, but because all of these things are slightly off, they're not getting all the proper signals that they should be.

Becca Powers: Man, that's so wild. And that's like, when I was going through my autoimmune stuff, mine was, in the connected tissue family. And yeah, I, Learned like everything was so interconnected. And during my healing journey, too, I was doing chiropractic, acupuncture, like I had so many modalities going at the same time, but it took this like multi modality approach to heal.

It wasn't just one thing. Like I have people are like, what's the one thing that you did? I'm like, what about the 20 things that I did? And I really can't tell you which one it was that. But it was probably all of it, so that's 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: interesting. It's interesting how that's what we want. We want the, what's the one takeaway.

What's that one thing. And in reality, there is no one magic pill because we are all different. That's the biggest takeaway I can share is we are all different. So there's not one magic pill that's going to work. for everybody. It's a collection of puzzle pieces and the puzzle pieces may be different for you than they are for me, but having to know that there are different puzzle pieces than just the three or four you're given, it just widens the scope.

To be able to actually put it together. Yeah. 

Becca Powers: So what is, an aha that's up for you now? Say that again. What's that current, like aha or like new thought that's up for you right now? Like an aha moment. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: An aha moment for me that's going on right now is learning when to pivot and learning when to pause, because there are some times where we need to quickly pivot and say, this isn't working.

We need to go a different direction. And there's sometimes where we need to pause, let the dust settle, and then see where to go. Cause if we're always running, we may be going in circles. 

Becca Powers: Yeah. I think that's really important because not only for infertility, but I think that's like an important life lesson is starting to learn when to pivot and when to pause, so I think I'm like, that is dope.

I like that is really good. Really good. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. 

Becca Powers: so let's talk a little bit about why, again, it's bled through our conversation, but why are you passionate about this topic? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: I'm so passionate about this topic because it's honestly a very lonely road because there's a lot of shame that goes.

into it where people feel embarrassed because when you're younger, you're told that you can get pregnant right away. And then when that doesn't happen for so many couples, you think something's wrong with me. And when we start bringing light to these things that were put shame upon, we take the shame away and say, this is something very common.

This is something that we don't exactly know why it's happening, but there are many people that are experiencing this. And so taking that shame away. And bringing in community really helps. So I'm so passionate about it because I want to let other people know you're not the only one. And there's nothing wrong with you.

There's just something that we're just missing a couple of pieces that some people found the pieces sooner than you did, but there's a big community out there and that's something that we're building as well, to be able to support other people along this journey. 

Becca Powers: Let's talk about the community a little bit, because I assume that there's going to be some listeners that are identifying with what you're saying.

And then, like you said, they, probably are hanging back because they have been in shame and they don't know. Who to trust or who to talk to. So let's talk about your community a little bit. What are you looking to put in place and what are you working on? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. So the three main things that we focus on, and I've been focusing on this for, years, but I'm narrowing this down for the couples in this particular community.

Which are having a strategic plan. Like I said, the strategic plan of all the options we have, and then how to navigate that plan for you individually, because that's what we need to know. You as an individual, how do we navigate it? When to go left, when to go right, when to pause, and then how to advocate for yourself is a big thing that's missing in the marketplace right now is how to advocate for yourself, for what you could say for you and for your spouse.

And then that support, that unconditional support of whichever option you choose is okay. And all of these things, I feel like I never got that, which is why I wanted to bring it to other people with whatever option you choose. If you want to do IVF, we're going to support you through that. And we're going to tell you, we're going to recommend a couple of things that can actually help that succeed better.

If you're saying, I don't want IVF, I want natural, We're going to come around you and support you and say, how can we increase your likelihood through the natural process? And so this support and this guidance that I feel like I said is missing Especially from a couple standpoint because I'm actually going to be doing this with my husband me and my husband 

Becca Powers: We're 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: gonna be leading this group and me with a psychology background and him with an ethics background cyber security analyst background, knowing how to help you pivot and support each other, because we don't want this to ruin your relationship.

Cause we've, like you said, we've seen this ruin relationships to the point where people will say. I don't want to have kids anymore, or I'm just going to adopt, or I'm just taking a break and I don't, know what to do anymore. They fall into depression and anxiety and we don't want to see that.

Becca Powers: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I even have had friends get divorced, which is. Very sad. Just because, you think about it, it's like you're getting divorced because you wanted to have a baby together and then it caused so much friction that you fell out of love. that's sad. so in essence to be able to not only help people can, potentially conceive with more options, but then also to really preserve their relationship in a healthy way.

Like I really commend what you and your husband are doing. It's awesome. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yes. Thank, you so much. And I, and like you said, I feel like that's The core at what's missing is there's a lot of pressure put on the woman. And then honestly, it's odd where they have you at odds where, Oh, it's the man's problem.

There's low sperm count. And now we're looking at the man or no, it's the woman. There's low, there's a low egg reserver. There's a lot of pinning people each against each other, which is not helpful. And we're trying to bring people together. We're trying to bring husband and wife together. and unify them.

And then we're trying to unify them with other couples who are going through the same thing to say, we're all on the same road. We might just be taking different paths to get there. 

Becca Powers: I love that. So what would be an empowering message you would want to share with a couple that's struggling with infertility right now?

Dr. Brenna Squirres: There is a lot. Always hope. Never give up because there is one more option, two more options, probably a hundred options that you haven't tried that no one is telling you about. And rather than getting upset about the fact that no one's telling you this, I want you to get excited. Excited and say, Oh my goodness, there's something out there that can not only help me Increase my chances, but it'll actually heal my body and bring me closer together with my husband And so that excitement of rather than division There's unity out there and there's also hope for you to get what you want, which is again, healing your body and having that child that God promised.

Becca Powers: Oh, that is awesome. That is so awesome. And when is your next, like you said, you're going to release something in September. Tell me a little bit about that. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yes, we're actually launching a fertility empowerment program and it's going to be a two month program starting in September. Right now we're leaning towards either the mid beginning or mid September.

We don't have an official launch date just yet. But that program is going to be two months long and it's going to be virtual. So you can join from anywhere in the world and it'll be for couples. Now, if your couple, if your partner can't join the whole time, that's perfectly okay, because we're going to record it so you can watch it later.

But like I mentioned, we're going to focus on those three main things, helping you widening your scope about your options and then how to navigate through them, how to advocate with the different doctors, because there's different ones, and then how to. Navigate support, specifically how to give support to your partner, how to find helpful support systems, how to remove toxic support systems, because there are some toxic people in your life that May not need to know everything about your fertility journey, but we need to put them to the side and only bring in people that are going to be life giving, helpful, and encouraging.

And so that's what we're starting with September 

Becca Powers: point. Especially when you are in a journey that requires you to have a very positive and hopeful, mindset. Because whether it's infertility or health, or you're looking for to advance your career, whatever, there's a message that Brenna is sharing that is universal.

And that is, you don't need to share your shit with everybody. Okay. sorry, just to say it so bluntly, but that is just. True. And because a lot of people, don't, know, they don't have the expertise or they haven't been through it. So they're not in a position. It's not that people are bad. It's that they're not the right people that can support your journey.

So I really love that you, went there. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. And, I'm glad you, I'm glad you're saying that because a lot of It doesn't matter. Oh, their family, they're supposed to be there for me. Not every family member will understand, nor will every family member actually be helpful for this. 

Becca Powers: Yes. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Just like certain friends, some friends are great for some journeys, but for this journey, They will immediately say, I don't understand.

I don't know, just get over it. And they will be so discouraging where you're feeling worse. And so that's the part we need to navigate is we don't need to kick them all to the curb. We don't need to get rid of these family members or friends. We just need to learn how to set them aside and put proper boundaries.

So they're not giving us those negative thoughts and discouragement when we don't need more. We only need good. 

Becca Powers: Yes, exactly. We're already in a, a difficult situation and you're trying to go up. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah, we're trying to go up. So we want everybody that's actually going to push us up and anyone that's going to bring us down or just hold us at status level.

They're just going to be put to the side for something else. 

Becca Powers: 30 minutes flew by. I knew it would. So let's go ahead. How can the audience find you? 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Yeah. So right now I would just encourage you to go ahead and follow me through Instagram at Dr. Brenna Squires. I'm sure we'll have this spelled out.

Yeah. Everything 

Becca Powers: will be in the show notes, 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: but you can just go ahead and follow me there. That's where I'm going to start putting more announcements. And then once the. Page goes alive. Hopefully in a couple of weeks, it'll go live for you to be able to learn more about the program. Then you can go ahead and check that out.

Becca Powers: thank you so much for coming on the show. I love this conversation. I love the topic. And again, thank you for being a guest. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to be able to share this message and hopefully encourage couples struggling with infertility to hold on and to find the right support system because they're out there.

Becca Powers: Mic drop. Thanks again. 

Dr. Brenna Squirres: Thank you.