The Life You're Not Letting Yourself Try

In this episode of The emPOWERed Half Hour, Becca sits down with Sue Willoughby, a no-BS life coach and certified Equus Coach® who helps women over 40 stop white-knuckling life and start actually living it. Sue grew up with an alcoholic parent, came out at 17, spent years winging it through reinvention after reinvention — roller derby referee, real estate agent, corporate trainer for an aerospace company she grew to hate, skydiver — and eventually found her way back to the one thing that always grounded her: horses.

In this episode:

• Why horses cut through the stories we tell ourselves faster than most therapists can
• What "following the breadcrumbs" looks like when you have no clear destination
• The difference between trying something on and committing to it forever
• How podcasting became an unexpected doorway — and what it opened
• The Michael Singer reframe that shifted how Sue approaches fear
• What's waiting on the other side of the question you're not asking yourself

Quotes from this episode:

"It's okay to put on your beginner glasses and be a beginner." – Sue Willoughby

"Ask yourself, what's the best that could happen from this moment or challenge, and how can I move toward that?" – Sue Willoughby

"If you're open to it, the universe will lead you where you need to be." – Sue Willoughby

"I think we, by nature, go to worst case." – Becca Powers

"When you follow the breadcrumbs, opportunities open that you didn't even know existed." – Becca Powers

Connect with Sue:

• Website: WilloughbyCoaching.com
• Instagram: @SueWilloughby
• Free podcast mini-series: Podcasting for Real Estate Pros (Apple and all major platforms)
• Book a 30-min Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/willoughbycoaching/coaching-consult

Connect with Becca:

Website: https://www.beccapowers.com
Instagram: @beccapowers1313
LinkedIn: Becca Powers
Facebook: Becca Powers

Join the community:
The Dragonfly Effect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1C4z83krsn/

Get the book:
A Return to Radiance:https://www.beccapowers.com/a-return-to-radiance

Book Becca to speak:https://www.beccapowers.com/keynotes

Free resource:
The High Performer's Path eBook:https://www.beccapowers.com/

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Transcript

Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies

Becca Powers: Welcome to another episode of The Empowered Half Hour, and I'm so excited to bring you today's guest. In our pre-talk. We share a lot of things in common, and I think she's going to be a blast to interview, and I think you guys are gonna get a lot of value from her. So let me go ahead and introduce you to Sue Willoughby.

She is a midlife strategist. Sue, welcome to the show. 

Sue Willoughby: Hey, Becca. Thank you so much for having me on today. I am very, very excited to be here. 

Becca Powers: Yeah, I'm excited to have you too. I think that, in our pre-talk that there was a few things that really excited me and, one is we didn't dive into it too much because I wanted to save it for the interview itself, but we had ended kind of talking about one of the things that you have done professionally in the recent past was, equi coaching.

Then you had said that you have recently, you're still doing that, but you have recently pivoted to helping real estate agents and midlife professionals start a podcast and you can see the little twinkle in my eye. I am like, oh, let's talk about that because there's one thing that you said in there that really intrigued me, and that was because you said everyone has a story and I know that to be true.

So listeners. You have a story in you. It doesn't mean you have to start a podcast, but I want you to tune into this conversation. 'cause I have a feeling you might start to look at yourself and what you've been through, through a different lens by the time we're done. ' cause it is the empowered half hour and that's our goal.

Assu, why don't you share with me and the listeners what's the backstory to that? Like how did you start the transition from Quis to podcast? 

Sue Willoughby: Well, the backstory's a lot longer than all of that. 

Becca Powers: I'm sure we all have got a long backstory, 

Sue Willoughby: but I came to Quis coaching from growing up with an alcoholic parent and finding a place to be, and that was with horses and.

Over the years, it just sort of evolved and I didn't realize at the time how much support I was getting from these amazing animals. And as the universe works, and if you're open to it, it will lead you. Where you need to be. And that was to EQU coaching and I can talk more about that later if you wish.

And I do one-on-one coaching using horses as a feedback loop. So they're part of the conversation and they are what connect the human with what's really going on inside them and help them bring that to the forefront. So that's kind of the quick and dirty explanation of EQU coaching. 

Becca Powers: There's so much in that because you know, I was, one of the themes that we like to talk about on this podcast a lot is regulation.

And so what I'm hearing in that is that the horses are helping to regulate. The, your clients in a way that is really natural, like, animal to person. Mm-hmm. But I would love for you to like share a little bit more about that because 

Sue Willoughby: Absolutely. 

Becca Powers: Listen, I was raised by alcoholic parents too. Love 'em.

But I'm sure there's listeners on here like Yeah, me too. Me too, me too. 

Sue Willoughby: You're on your own. Have fun with that. So 

Becca Powers: let's like, talk a little bit about that you know, we'll continue the conversation, but I wanna hear a little bit more of like what you've witnessed and how the horses have, like how you use coaching and the horses to help your clients move forward.

Sue Willoughby: Yeah. Thank you. it is very interesting because horses are prey animals, and I will say that people don't realize that because they're so big and they're so majestic and powerful, and they're like, woo. Really? Yes. They're prey to something in the wild. So every cell in their body is processing information to assess their environment, whether they're safe or not.

They're also herd animals, so they communicate with the other animals in their herd. Even when they're in a barn or with, you know, installs their, their own separate paddocks, they're still communicating with the other horses around them and assessing their environment. Like if they hear something, they see something, they smell something.

I mean, their senses are very much heightened. They also have huge hearts and they have been gracious enough over the. Centuries to allow us to connect with them on a very heart-centered level. there's math around that. There's science around that. So when you talk about regulation, when you are in the presence of a horse, you will start to, because they sense all of our breath, our heart rate, everything they sense, so they know what's going on inside of us.

And they don't see that facade that we put up. They see right through that. So if they're, once again, I talked about them feeling safe or needing to feel safe. And if they're with a person, right, you're part of their herd, you're a herd member and they're looking to you like, are you gonna be a good leader?

or do I need to take control? Or do I just need to stay away from you? 'cause I'm getting a incongruent message here. So it was very interesting how they can very quickly peel back the layers. Of all of the things you know that we bury and it also brings people into their bodies.

You become more embodied when you're around a horse because it's a very somatic experience. Everything that we've experienced in our lives is stored somewhere in our bodies and we 

Becca Powers: 1000%. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, and we get those pings, we get those alert messages just like the horses do, right? When we don't feel safe or when something is coming up that really annoys us and why does it annoy us?

We don't question that. A lot of times we just react rather than taking a beat and saying, why am I feeling this? Where did that come from in my body? And then progressing, you know, taking a beat and just saying, okay, I understand now. Or even if you don't, just saying, I'm not gonna react right now, I'll get back to you.

So horses are really good with that. They're also really good at teaching leadership because like I said, when you are with them, you're in their herd. And when they're in a herd, they are going to look to the most grounded, centered entity or being in their herd. Whether it's, it's usually another horse, but it's typically the mare.

It's typically one of the mares. It's not the big stallion or, you know, some pumped up gelding, right? They're gonna look to like this, the calm centered one and say, okay. Should we be moving along? what's going on here? And so they're gonna look to us for that as well when they're with us. 

Becca Powers: That's really incredible.

and there's so much in what you said that I even wanna relate to, kind of your evolution going into helping people with podcasting because, you know, I would assume, but I wanna ask the question. through working with horses, do your clients get a deeper sense of themselves and their story?

'cause that's one of the, things that we had like just nibbled on like right before we went live. Yeah. But I'm wondering how working with horses helps to elicit not only the somatic healing and regulation and getting them healing again from whatever they're going through. You know, crazy childhoods, abusive work environments.

Partners, whatever. You know, we all got things, but I'm really curious to see what personal and self-awareness comes from the work with the horses. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, that's a great question, and I will say this one word, it's about relationship. How you show up in relationship, not just with other people, but with yourself.

How do you 

Becca Powers: head to toe? 

Sue Willoughby: It's true because the horses they don't lie. And the other thing is they're not gonna judge you. They don't judge what you're wearing, what car you pulled up in, how you look. They don't care about all that. They don't understand that so there's no judgment. So you can peel back the layers and bring your true, authentic self forward.

And like I said, it is about relationships. So how you show up in any relationship, whether it's with yourself or with others, I mean, that's how you're gonna show up anywhere. So it really does expose those things and allow you to have a better understanding of why you react certain ways, why you feel certain things, and it allows you to just be present and understand yourself better.

that's the shortened version. 

Becca Powers: That's freaking incredible. You can see how intrigued time. I'm like, oh my God, I could spend, 

Sue Willoughby: yeah, it's pretty amazing. 

Becca Powers: It's pretty cool. But you know, we only have 20 minutes left and I need to keep going. All right. I do wanna kind of, again, start the pivot to what you're doing now and some of the benefits it has to people and the power of their story.

But, to kind of bridge that, like when people have this awakened, sense of self, the relationship within themselves, how they're relating to others, I would imagine that they start understanding that they're so much more powerful than they thought they were. And this gets us back to the story and maybe that's the bridge to what you're doing now, but I would love to hear more about that.

Like tell me a little bit about what someone experiences when they first come on live to their story. Like when they realize that they can indeed make a difference if they own more of what they've been through in a way. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, that's a great question. And also like owning your story and also just building curiosity around that story.

And so many people, so many women especially get in their midlife and they get stuck. They think, oh, you know, my kids are moved out, or I'm at the. The peak of my career, what am I gonna do? And they start, those questions come up, but they don't know what to do with them. Or they think, you know, I can't leave corporate America, you know, I'm a CEO, or I'm a whatever.

I'm a high level, you know, manager. What am I gonna do? Am I gonna go sling coffee at Starbucks? Maybe, you know, maybe that's just what you need to do, who knows? But it gives you the awareness and the curiosity to start exploring what your other options may be. And also, we also tend to discount the things and the experiences that we've had in our past.

Becca Powers: I love that. Tell me more. 

Sue Willoughby: So myself, for example, I have had a lot of a variety of experiences. I grew up, like I said, kind of on my own, winging it and trying different things. I was always curious about stuff. I was a roller derby referee. I worked, Hey, 

Becca Powers: that's cool. 

Sue Willoughby: I learned to fly a plane. I jumped out of a plane, I drove in, demolition derbies, I mean all these things.

Yeah, 

Becca Powers: so this is awesome. 

Sue Willoughby: Did you not read my bio? I'm just kidding. But I mean, I've never been, I think because I grew up in a household where comfort was discomfort, that was my comfort zone, was like, I never knew what I was gonna get. So I'm like, well, a 

Becca Powers: lot. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, why not? Right? Why not try something new?

And I think that's a piece that's missing for a lot of women and or when they get into midlife, it gets packed away. So they're like, where was that? You know, explorative part of myself, they're like digging through an old suitcase. You know? I used to be fun. I used to have, you know, be curious, but.

So by just doing all of those things, it puts me in a position to help women discover that curiosity again, and understand, you know, that there is a lot of other things out there. I got off track a little bit, so if you wanna kind of bring me back in, but 

Becca Powers: No, I actually, I, I was playing in this for a reason because I do feel that it addresses what midlife people are really going through.

Mm-hmm. Like, even myself, I'm extremely career, you know, I have my own business and stuff, but also, so I'm still like living in my end where I'm, I've got one foot in corporate America and one foot in my business, but. Part of what opened me up to having these conversations in the first place is I got curious I started writing again and not because I wanted to sell a book so I can get coaching clients.

I had a story 

That I felt was important to get out. And I also love writing, so I'm like, Hey, here's a fun little project. And I call it my beautiful unfolding. But I just kept, 

Going and now I have a podcast and other things, but 

That part that you were talking about of being curious is so important, and so I don't think we got off track.

I loved it. 

Sue Willoughby: Okay. 

Becca Powers: I love it, 

Sue Willoughby: but back to what the, what you had originally asked me, like kind of how did I get from here to there, to there, and it was just, it was not a direct path. Clearly. It was over here and then over there, and I'm, like I said, I don't know. I may have undiagnosed A DHD at 66, but I have no idea.

But I was introduced to horses early on and then that led me down one path and then I had an opportunity to move cross country and I did, and that took me back to school. I never went to college. I quit high school twice actually,  Congratulations. Third time's a charm.

so, but then I had an opportunity to go back to school and I went back and I got my AA degree. 

And I went into computer. it was in the early nineties, so internet, web stuff, video production, all of those things. That's what I studied. And then I got into corporate America and I got into corporate training.

And then, you know, I had a six figure career, which I never, ever, ever thought I would have. And then I'm like, okay, now what? I really hate this. I was at a very large corporation that makes airplanes and I was in flight training, and it sounds sexy and everything, but I just was like, oh my God, this is sucking the life out of me.

What am I gonna do? 

 Yeah. I mean it, you know, but then you got the golden handcuffs and all of that. So I went skydiving with some real estate friends of mine, and I was like, that's it, I'm done. I walked away from that job and I went into real estate. So I just go where the breadcrumbs lead me, and it's, I've had so many beautiful experiences 

Becca Powers: like school Yes.

And enriched life. I love following the breadcrumbs too. And so your story's very inspiring, so listeners. It's not a bad thing to follow breadcrumbs. It's scary sometimes, but it's fulfilling and living a fulfilled life well might be a little better than living. With those golden handcuffs where you're living in a box of someone else's dreams and expectations.

Yeah. So I appreciate what you're saying. Very much 

Sue Willoughby: so. Yeah. So I spent over a decade in real estate. I'm still a licensed real estate agent, and in the meantime I started coaching, got certified in EQU coaching and running retreats, as a facilitator. and I really love that. And I had always wanted to start a podcast.

I just. You know, like I said, with my video and, audio production background, I just love it. I'm kind of a techie geek, you know, gear geek, so I have lots of equipment. 

Becca Powers: Me too. I'm like, hello, I feel 

Sue Willoughby: you. I love the gear. I love doing all that stuff, and, but I couldn't think of anything. Then I was like, well, I also just love to connect with people. I love to connect with people on a one-to-one basis, and I'm sort of an extroverted introvert. So, actually my human design type, if you really wanna know, is a projector. I don't know if you know anything about human design. 

Becca Powers: I know that I am one Also. 

Sue Willoughby: You're a projector.

Becca Powers: I'm a spleen projector. I don't, 

Sue Willoughby: me too. Me too. That's why we get all those pings to be like, what? Over here, over this, this, this, this? Yes. Yes. Me too. I was operating as a generator and it was exhausting, you know? Yes. So once I found out, I was like, oh, well that makes a lot of sense. So I started the podcast a couple of years ago and I just called it, a life worth being, because that's my coaching tagline.

Awaken a life worth being, doesn't really say what the podcast is about, but. I did a rebrand, which was much more aligned with me as a person and how I go through life. And now the name of the podcast is Midlife Strategies for Badass Women. So, 

Becca Powers: hey, 

Sue Willoughby: And it just, I love being able to meet people from all over the world.

I mean, I've interviewed people and been interviewed. I'm, you know, obviously a guest on shows as well. and it's just so incredible and so intimate, and I just love it that you can connect with people, you can hear their stories, you can share your story. And I feel in my heart that. Whenever I have a guest on, or whenever I'm on someone else's show, that one person out there is going to resonate with the message of that episode.

I 

Becca Powers: believe that too. I mean, 

Sue Willoughby: I'm on 

Becca Powers: at, when this airs, I think it'll be episode 1 0 1, 1 0 2, 1 0 3, something in that. And what I can tell you too is just from my own experience, is when it hits that one person and you get the DM that like, I needed this. 

you know, a month later I listened to this and made a major change.

Like you can see my eyes tearing up, like 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah. 

Becca Powers: It's like 

Sue Willoughby: it gets you right here. Yeah. 

Becca Powers: Yeah. It's worth it. And I know this episode, someone's gonna be listening to it and hearing that, that same thing. So I appreciate everything that you shared because I think if people are listening. To like what is being said in between the words.

There's this also piece to life that's about discovery and curiosity and the more you stay aligned to that or open to that and you're using the words breadcrumbs and you follow those breadcrumbs, opportunities open up for you that you didn't know were there. And it's really kind of an incredible ride to like witness it through the lens of wonder instead of fear.

And that's what I hear you saying. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah. 

Becca Powers: In between your words. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's always gonna be fear, but it's self-imposed. I just finished a book by Michael Singer who did The Untethered Soul. He wrote The Untethered Soul, and also the most recent book I read was The Surrender Experiment.

Which was his story basically. Have you read it or have you heard of it? It's just amazing about how when things are presented to you, you immediately let you know, your mind and your ego take over and say, I don't like that, or I don't wanna do that, or whatever. Rather than just surrendering and seeing what happens it's a good.

Practice. You know, you don't have to do any big things, but 

Becca Powers: I love 

Sue Willoughby: that. Yeah. So anyway, the podcasting thing led me to a few months ago, I was like, you know what? I love podcasting. I wanna be able to bring it to more people. It's so easy for people to start podcasts, but it is intimidating, and I've got over a decade of real estate experience.

I said, well, maybe I'll start with real estate professionals. So many ways to market yourself as a real estate professional, and most of them suck, I'll be honest with you. So, I mean, when you think about, you know, cold calling, door knocking, those things are in the past. So either that or you're on, you know, TikTok or Instagram doing crazy things.

If you create your own podcast as a real estate professional or any other professional, it gives you authority. It builds trust and it puts you in front of people and other people's audiences with if you're doing an interview show, and you don't have to be a Joe Rogan, right? You just need to connect with the people that wanna connect with you, and you can be a local expert.

And it's just a beautiful way to, you know, build your client base and also be an authority in a local. celebrity, if you wanna call it that. So I created a course called, podcasting for Real Estate Pros, and it's actually a 21 episode free podcast on Apple podcasting for real estate pros.

And, it has a integration guide, so like a workbook, but an integration guide so you can listen, but if you don't do anything, you're still just listening. So, you know, you get the integration guide or the implementation guide and then. Then you're off to the races and then obviously if you need more help, I'm here to help you do that.

I'm a certify. I'm also, because I never stop learning, I love learning. 

Becca Powers: I have like a gazillion certifications too. I'm like, oh, you certified this and I certified that. And they're not always in the same hemisphere and 

Sue Willoughby: Exactly. But like I said, follow the breadcrumbs. Where does that lead to? So if any of your listeners out there, it's not just a course for real estate agents.

It's about, you know, how to successfully start and build your podcast. So I had fun making it and like I said, I've got my certification in podcast growth coaching and I just love it. it's a medium that I love. It's something that, I was led to. So here I am. So 

Becca Powers: let's, so let's pretend that there's a listener out there that's like, wow, I really love this conversation and I'm feeling really inspired Now, maybe.

Maybe I should start a podcast. Right. but what's on the other side of it? So not just like a revenue perspective, podcasts are all over the place. Like, so. Yes. You know, sometimes there's drama ones and murder mystery ones. Right. And then professional ones that are business outcome based and stuff, regardless of what the.

Intention of as the podcast, what I'd like you to, to focus on is the host. What kind of transformation have you seen for the hosts, whether it's fulfillment or monetary. But I think I would love to share with the listeners like what's on the other side of becoming a podcast host. 

Sue Willoughby: I think the biggest thing, I know for myself as well is that it gives you a.

Platform on which you can have a solo podcast if you just wanna educate people. So if you have a specific niche that you wanna educate people in, it gives you the opportunity to just like a YouTube channel. And you can also turn it into that. I mean, there's, endless possibilities, but I think it gets you outta your comfort zone number one allows you to explore new opportunities.

Also by meeting other people. If you have guests on your show, it's going to open up your world. And I think that that is a big piece of it, and it allows you to share your story how you show up in the world. It just puts it in a really creative space. So it brings up your creative juices, fulfills that piece of you, and you can also create and make it a business if you want.

So there's lots of opportunities to do many different things, but I do think it's just, if you're looking for a way to express yourself, that's a beautiful way to do it. 

Becca Powers: I love it so much. there's a, recap of this conversation that's like going through my head right now, because during our pre-talk I was sharing with you that the tagline for the show is regulated, radiant, and revived.

And I'm like, Hey, if we can hit on one of those things, that's amazing. We'll deliver the listener experience and it'll be great. And now I'm sitting here, I'm like, Sue, way to be an overachiever. We hit all three. We hit all three. We talked about regulation, co-regulation with horses. We talked about following the breadcrumbs, which is very much a characteristic of being in your radiance.

When you're in your radiance. Creativity is overflowing, your synchronicities are in place, and all of that stuff. And then you're talking about, you know, the benefits of being a podcast host or what's on the other side of it. And you were just talking about like this. Revived feeling of like, 

Sue Willoughby: yeah. 

Becca Powers: Being in yourself and expressing yourself.

And that is a beautiful gift. So anyways, thank you for hitting all three for us. 

Sue Willoughby: No problem. Happy to be here. Happy to check those boxes for you. 

Becca Powers: So, well, you know, I normally ask the, the questions like, what are you passionate about? But all the questions that I wanted to ask you came out naturally.

But I do wanna end the podcast with a question directly so that the listeners can grab it from you. What is an empowering message that you would wanna share with the listeners? And however you wanna answer that, you may. 

Sue Willoughby: Yeah, and I'm gonna go back to some of the things that we did talk about. I think first, building awareness.

Then moving into curiosity about the things that come into your awareness. Also understanding that if you are pulled in a direction to an interest or a passion or something, it's okay to put on your beginner glasses and be a beginner. I think that is a huge thing that scares so many people is that. My gosh, I'm gonna look stupid.

I'm going to, you know, I'm gonna bomb out on this. I'm gonna fail miserably. And all I gotta say to you is, what's the best that could happen out of that? Because yes, you could. And the other thing is, you don't have to do it forever. You can try something. you go to the clothing store, you don't put something on that fits miserably and then be like, well, I, guess I should just buy this anyway and take it home.

And you put it in your closet and you never use it again, right? I've done that. so you can try things on and you can say, Nope, I don't think that that fits the way I thought it was going to fit What's next? So I would say just continue. Always be curious, be aware and always be curious. 

Becca Powers: You said something too that I think is a good mic drop for the listeners, and what's the best thing that can happen?

I think we, by nature, we go to worst case, boom, And that's naturally gonna happen. But what if you paused and took the time to ask like, what's the best thing that could happen? And I think that was really wise. Appreciate that. Share. Well, Sue, here we are. 30 minutes flew by. I knew it would. And, I would love for you to share with the listeners how to stay in touch with you, where they can find you.

Sue Willoughby: Yes, thank you. Willoughby coaching.com is my website, and then I'm on Instagram at Sue Willoughby. And then if you wanna listen to my free miniseries podcast, it's Podcasting for Real Estate Pros. And it's on Amazon, or I'm not on Amazon. Well, it might be on Amazon Music, but it's on Apple and all of the other podcast services, so check it out.

That's 

Becca Powers: awesome. Very cool. Well, thank you for being a guest. It was a pleasure to meet you, interview you, hear your stories. You're amazing. Thank you again. 

Sue Willoughby: My pleasure. Thank you.